The Lottery

I have had some really rotten luck lately.  Not as bad as some certainly, but enough bad things have come my way recently to make me feel justified in questioning how I feel about things like luck and karma.  I'm pretty sure I believe in karma, at least as much as I believe in anything and I'm also pretty sure I haven't done anything bad enough to deserve some of the cards I've been dealt recently.  I mean there was a real low point a few months ago that had me questioning the reality of the situation, I kept having the thoughts "this isn't real" "this is movie bad" "this is joke bad."  So for someone like me who's pretty sure she believes in karma, does that mean I've misjudged the severity of my past negative actions OR does it mean that things are about to turn around in a really spectacular way, that the universe is about to throw some serious good luck my direction?  Ok so now to consider 'luck' - have I just been on a 'bad luck streak' and thats why my life has sort of sucked recently?  I also am pretty sure I believe that the universe has a balance to it, in the sense that everything that goes up must come down and stuff like that.  So if I want to explain recent events as bad luck and decide to be optimistic and think that the worst is over THEN does that mean I'm about to have good luck?  I mean I think if I've been having bad luck, then its been really really bad luck sooo it stands to reason that if the worst is indeed over then I'm about to have really really good luck.  I've never felt the need to play the lottery, I've never thought it was a worthwhile thing to throw a couple bucks at seeing as how the chances of winning are so astronomically low.  However, in the event that I'm right about this luck thing, then my good luck is probably bursting to get out and start its work on my life.  So why not give it the opportunity to win me a ton of money - $175 million to be exact.  Like I said before, I've never felt the need to play the lottery before, which means I have no idea how to play the lottery.  All I do know is that you play it at the gas station.  So I'm in the car with my sister this weekend and after explaining to her my idea that I potentially had good luck just around the corner or maybe even oozing out of my pores at just that very moment waiting to work its wonders I pulled into the parking lot at the nearest gas station.  I went up to the counter and announced to the cashier that I wanted to play the lottery and what different kinds did he have?  To which he showed me a number of scratch tickets, which of course was not what I wanted.  I don't want to waste my good luck on a free gas station hotdog or even $100.  I want to give it a chance to take a crack at the big jackpot.  So I asked him what lottery ticket had the potential to win me the most money.  It was the MegaMillion Dollar Jackpot, so I gave him three dollars and his computer generated me three numbers and heres to hoping my good luck has generated the winner!  On a rather irrelevant side note the cashier seemed entirely mystified at my lack of lottery knowledge.  He even went so far as to comment that it was "like I'd just escaped from an Amish compound or something."  Hmmm...not quite sure how I feel about his mockery of my ignorance of all that is lottery, but what I do know is that I won't care what he or anyone else thinks when I win the big jackpot.  And I won't even be sad if I loose because then I can tell myself that its only because my good luck is waiting for something even more awesome to toss my way.